For the past 56.5 years I could have said to you,”Rebecca, this happens to all of us to a greater or lesser extent, why are you making such a fuss?”. Starting with the events of last year until now I have had to face the reality of a lifetime of trauma manifested in so many systemic racism coping skills that I was almost overwhelmed by it.

I should have sought counselling but who could I find that would understand my experiences. In the end writing has been the outlet for my frustrations, fears and anger. It has helped me to begin the process of reliving the constant situations I have faced throughout my live, and yes it has helped me to understand how I have lived my life on constant alert.

The irony is that consciously knowing this has just made my life that much harder. It’s time for this to stop, it’s too late for me, but not for my children and definitely not for my future grandchildren.