Rebecca, knowing you as I do, not only are you a beautiful Black woman, but you are also confident, bold, intelligent and you have presence, and on this occasion you appeared to be single.

It’s no wonder white women find you a threat, you are everything they would like to be, but cannot. Men find you attractive too because you are likely everything their wives are not but would like them to be.

Being Black is exhausting and being a Black woman exceedingly so. I know what it is like to get dirty looks but rarely do I think I appear to be a threat to other white men. Or at least I’ve never noticed. I’ve never been a Black woman so I can only empathise with what you have to go through. But if I were to give you any advice it is this, don’t live your life worrying about what white women think of you. If they are worried about their man finding you attractive, that’s their problem. If he wants to speak to you but she doesn’t, that his problem.

When you take on and own their negativity you are drinking their poison and this will only make you sick, not them.

Of course you can make friends of white women, but initially this will be only on their terms. You need to decide if you want a relationship with them on this basis, that’s your choice. And when they get to know you, to know that you have a husband and that you are no threat to them or their relationship, I believe that you will be able to build lasting relationships with them.

Some people never left the school playground, it’s up to us to recognise that and avoid their negativity.

Sorry you had to experience that my sister, but these are situations we find ourselves in when living life while Black.